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Be a thermostat, not a thermometer (2023)

As I’ve learned more about how humans interact with one another at work, I’ve been repeatedly reminded that we are very easily influenced by the mood of those around us. It’s usually not even something we do consciously; we just see someone using a different tone of voice or shifting their body language, and something deep in our brain notices it.

This skill of intentionally choosing your body language, tone, and words can help the other person move out of whatever “weird vibes” they were giving off earlier, as they can now start mirroring yours. For example, “What I learned is that that last email didn’t do a good job explaining the changes, so what I plan to do is start a forum for folks to post their questions and our CEO will answer them every Tuesday.” Next time you find yourself in a conversation that’s exuding some off vibes, or even an intense one, if you use a combination of these tools, you’ll be giving others the opportunity to mirror the temperature you set right back to you.

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