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Generate impressive-looking terminal output, look busy when stakeholders walk by
Generate impressive-looking terminal output to look busy when stakeholders walk by - giacomo-b/rust-stakeholder
🖥️ Dazzling Development Simulations: Make it look like you're solving CERN-level computing problems when you're actually just refreshing Reddit 🧠 Meaningless Jargon Generator: Impress with phrases like "Implemented non-euclidean topology optimization for multi-dimensional data representation" (no, it doesn't mean anything) 📊 Convincing Progress Bars: Nothing says "I'm working" like a progress bar slowly advancing while you're in the break room 🌐 Fake Network Activity: Simulate mission-critical API requests that are actually just your computer talking to itself 🚨 Artificial Crisis Mode: Generate realistic-looking alerts so people think you're heroically averting disasters 👥 Imaginary Team Activity: Pretend your invisible friends are sending you important pull requests 🎮 Domain Chameleon: Switch between backend, frontend, blockchain and 7 other domains faster than you can say "full-stack developer" Promotion Fast-Track: Skip the tedious "delivering value" step entirely Meeting Domination: Let it run in the background during Zoom calls to seem busy Deadline Extensions: "Sorry, still resolving those critical system alerts" Salary Negotiation Tool: Just leave it running during your performance review Job Security: Become the only person who seems to understand your fictional systems If your entire technical reputation is built on running a fake terminal program, I am not responsible for the inevitable moment when someone asks you to actually, you know, code something.
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