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The parents who are saying no to "extracurriculars"

On the very high value, and apparent impossibility, of protecting free time.

If families knew that from the start, we could spare ourselves a whole lot of weekend tournaments and after-school carpools to this or that, and instead just have a much nicer eight years together before our kids leave home.” Her son has drafted a very pragmatic list of colleges to apply to, and they are trying not to get as sucked in this time. “When people pressure your child to specialize at a young age, they are in the money game,” says Scott Lancaster, co-author, along with Luis Fernando Llosa and Kim John Payne,of Beyond Winning: Smart Parenting in a Toxic Sports Environment. One mother of two who lives in Westchester, New York, told me that while she likes the rigor, consistency, and physical outlet that travel sports provide for her kids, “they say creativity requires downtime to let your mind wander, and that has been in very short supply for years.”

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