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Things the guys who stole my phone have texted me to try to get me to unlock it

Don’t fall for these texts from scammers trying to crack into your stolen phone.

I spent the rest of the night anxiously refreshing the Find My app, watching my phone move around Manhattan before it finally stopped at Rockefeller Center. Thanks to Reddit, I discovered that most of the messages I was getting were scammer copypasta: English phrases and texts that were passed around between thieves, fences and jailbreakers to entice bereft phone owners like me. While the previous message didn’t move me much, it’s hard not to admire the arresting visuals of the detailed iPhone breakdown, the reference to “the law of the United States,” the mocking “you’ll never catch me.” It’s an incredible intro that really elevates the literary value of what would otherwise be a rote bit of vaguely threatening text!

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